Please note: All student names have been changed to protect their identity.
October 8, 2014 Update - see bottom
We have all scanned over the stories of students being suspended and expelled from school for ridiculous reasons since the promoting of the Zero Tolerance Policy. You are probably familiar with the 5 year-old suspended for talking with her friends about playing with a Hello Kitty bubble gun. What about the 7 year-old in Maryland suspended for eating a Pop Tart? Or one of my personal favorites, the kindergartner suspended for crying. There is no shortage of stories where Zero Tolerance appears to have run amuck. We shake our heads in disbelief, but it has no impact on our lives; until it does...
This week allowed me to look into the eyes of Zero Tolerance's evil twin, the Anti-Bully Policy. Almost all of us have been on the receiving end of a bully at one time or another and no one is immune; short, tall, fat, skinny; it can be anything. Repeated exposure to this behavior can be emotionally damaging to a child. Schools strongly emphasize anti-bullying to students daily. The entire month of October is promoted as National Bully Prevention Month. The word "Bully" is no longer an act. It has taken on it's own identity with the purpose to invoke strong emotions within us. The bully scenario is an easy one to decipher to those not involved. The bully is provoking and causing emotional damage to the victim who was innocently minding his own business. We feel anger toward the bully and sympathy for the victim. It's cut and dry, and we go along with it, but is it the truth? Is the "victim" truly innocent or could he actually be the provoker? When do we decide that the victim has crossed the line from "just defending himself," to endangering our childrens' safety? The Anti-Bully twin is the twin that wants us to feel sorry for the victim who is making the threats to harm our children in school.
You can decide if this student deserves pity from you (we will call him Adam); he won't be getting any from me.
We have all scanned over the stories of students being suspended and expelled from school for ridiculous reasons since the promoting of the Zero Tolerance Policy. You are probably familiar with the 5 year-old suspended for talking with her friends about playing with a Hello Kitty bubble gun. What about the 7 year-old in Maryland suspended for eating a Pop Tart? Or one of my personal favorites, the kindergartner suspended for crying. There is no shortage of stories where Zero Tolerance appears to have run amuck. We shake our heads in disbelief, but it has no impact on our lives; until it does...
This week allowed me to look into the eyes of Zero Tolerance's evil twin, the Anti-Bully Policy. Almost all of us have been on the receiving end of a bully at one time or another and no one is immune; short, tall, fat, skinny; it can be anything. Repeated exposure to this behavior can be emotionally damaging to a child. Schools strongly emphasize anti-bullying to students daily. The entire month of October is promoted as National Bully Prevention Month. The word "Bully" is no longer an act. It has taken on it's own identity with the purpose to invoke strong emotions within us. The bully scenario is an easy one to decipher to those not involved. The bully is provoking and causing emotional damage to the victim who was innocently minding his own business. We feel anger toward the bully and sympathy for the victim. It's cut and dry, and we go along with it, but is it the truth? Is the "victim" truly innocent or could he actually be the provoker? When do we decide that the victim has crossed the line from "just defending himself," to endangering our childrens' safety? The Anti-Bully twin is the twin that wants us to feel sorry for the victim who is making the threats to harm our children in school.
You can decide if this student deserves pity from you (we will call him Adam); he won't be getting any from me.
Omro Middle School is a small town school consisting of grades 6th - 8th; approximately 300 students attend daily. I have worked as a substitute many times and I'm always impressed with the respect and acceptance the students have of each other. Now I am not comfortable with my children attending the school.
Adam moved into town last year, enrolling in 7th grade. The other students say that Adam is a smart kid, but not very nice. It didn't take the other students long before his verbally abusive nature caused them to lose interest in the new student, and things would never be the same as before.
Adam wasn't friendly and by the end of last year, the 7th graders were growing up fast. He would randomly walk up to students to say, "I hate you. I don't know why I hate you but I do" and walk away. Adam started talking about his list and bombing the school to some. Many students became frightened of him. They were so afraid of Adam, some mentioned that didn't want him to see them at Jenny's house who lived near him. Everyone pretended the threats were never made and with summer vacation came a time to relax.
This school year began as all others; uneventful and easy to settle in to, until last Wednesday rolled around. Brad and a couple of friends were trying to play basketball during gym class but Adam continued to stand in the way of the game, despite the boys asking him to move. Finally Adam took the ball and threw it at Brad, hitting him the head with it. This led to words being exchanged, ending with Adam telling Brad, "Don't come to school Friday unless you want to die". Concerned over the comment, Brad reported the incident to the office.
My 8th grader was in the class when this happened, and informed me on Wednesday afternoon. Knowing that Adam had a history of comments being dismissed and needing to relieve my child's anxiety, I payed extra close attention as the events unfolded. The local Police Department was at the school on Thursday morning interviewing Adam and Brad, and they were released. Adam was back in his normal classes before lunch on Thursday as if nothing had happened. He was once again allowed to threaten the safety of the school without any perceived punishment while the other students worried about their safety.
With no information from the school and many questions unanswered, some parents decided on Thursday, to not send their children to school on Friday. Frustration grew, resulting in a Facebook post by a concerned parent:
Adam moved into town last year, enrolling in 7th grade. The other students say that Adam is a smart kid, but not very nice. It didn't take the other students long before his verbally abusive nature caused them to lose interest in the new student, and things would never be the same as before.
Adam wasn't friendly and by the end of last year, the 7th graders were growing up fast. He would randomly walk up to students to say, "I hate you. I don't know why I hate you but I do" and walk away. Adam started talking about his list and bombing the school to some. Many students became frightened of him. They were so afraid of Adam, some mentioned that didn't want him to see them at Jenny's house who lived near him. Everyone pretended the threats were never made and with summer vacation came a time to relax.
This school year began as all others; uneventful and easy to settle in to, until last Wednesday rolled around. Brad and a couple of friends were trying to play basketball during gym class but Adam continued to stand in the way of the game, despite the boys asking him to move. Finally Adam took the ball and threw it at Brad, hitting him the head with it. This led to words being exchanged, ending with Adam telling Brad, "Don't come to school Friday unless you want to die". Concerned over the comment, Brad reported the incident to the office.
My 8th grader was in the class when this happened, and informed me on Wednesday afternoon. Knowing that Adam had a history of comments being dismissed and needing to relieve my child's anxiety, I payed extra close attention as the events unfolded. The local Police Department was at the school on Thursday morning interviewing Adam and Brad, and they were released. Adam was back in his normal classes before lunch on Thursday as if nothing had happened. He was once again allowed to threaten the safety of the school without any perceived punishment while the other students worried about their safety.
With no information from the school and many questions unanswered, some parents decided on Thursday, to not send their children to school on Friday. Frustration grew, resulting in a Facebook post by a concerned parent:
Omro School Distric Families:
I am very confused. How is it an 8th grader in Omro Middle School is able to make threats/warnings to his peers about bombing the school and killing students has appeared to go unpunished? From my understanding, yesterday he was being searched and required to remain in the office but today he is back in class. This is not the first time he has talked about harming other students. He has told some of his "list" and has told individual students, "I hate you but I don't know why." Why do we read about students in other states being suspended for less? Do we just believe he's wanting attention and it would never happen here? These are our children! Even if there is no danger of bodily harm, they are thinking and stressing about this while the one making the threats is skipping down the hall untouched. A few parents are keeping their children home tomorrow but I think a better solution is for the parents to stay at the school all day. This is insane!
The post spread through the town quickly. Most parents had no knowledge of the incident, and the parents that did know had been told only by their children. A couple had called the school on Thursday morning and was told it was taken care of. Now, angry calls began flooding the local Police Department who explained the case was resolved: Adam received one day in-school suspension (Thursday, but he was observed attending regular classes that afternoon). He would return to regular classes on Friday and was not deemed a threat. It appears that, due to the calls the Police received on Thursday night, they decided to put a stop to the Facebook postings and arrived at a concerned parents home at 10:15pm, just because she had shared the post to her timeline. The Police told the parent that they had notified Adam's family that night that he should not come to school on Friday. The Police questioned why the parent was posting the information and wanted to know who originated it. She was made to feel guilty for informing other parents of the situation. Her posted comment after the police left her home:"It just makes you feel bad that you started false info and makes you question if you should in the future."
Friday morning, a Police Officer stood at each entrance of the school to address the concerns of the parents. The school said that an email would be sent out to all parents, and students would be having a discussion during Homeroom. It appears that the situation was finally being addressed, fears put to rest, and all would end well. That was not the case.
Although the Police, on their late-night visit to halt the Facebook posts, stated the situation had been resolved on Thursday, more student interviews were held on Friday morning. Adam wasn't seen at the school on Friday morning, and the police left before lunch. The discussion held for the students was nothing more than an anti-bully rally. The children were told that Adam had made the statements because they had bullied him, and he was only defending himself. The teacher stated that Adam had never said he would bomb the school, and when one child spoke up that she personally witnessed his comments, she was told to stop spreading lies and bullying Adam. Instead of relieving the fear and anxiety of the students, the talk left many frustrated as well. Adding insult to injury, after being told Adam wouldn't be at school on Friday, he was spotted looking out the detention room window that afternoon.
Although the Police, on their late-night visit to halt the Facebook posts, stated the situation had been resolved on Thursday, more student interviews were held on Friday morning. Adam wasn't seen at the school on Friday morning, and the police left before lunch. The discussion held for the students was nothing more than an anti-bully rally. The children were told that Adam had made the statements because they had bullied him, and he was only defending himself. The teacher stated that Adam had never said he would bomb the school, and when one child spoke up that she personally witnessed his comments, she was told to stop spreading lies and bullying Adam. Instead of relieving the fear and anxiety of the students, the talk left many frustrated as well. Adding insult to injury, after being told Adam wouldn't be at school on Friday, he was spotted looking out the detention room window that afternoon.
As promised, the school sent out an email to address parents concerns. Many never received the email, despite having received prior correspondence from the school.
Omro Parents/Guardians
The middle school had a student incident during gym class on Wednesday, September 24th, between four boys. One of the boys had thrown a ball at another during a basketball game. The situation escalated when one of the boys said words of, what is the cripple going to do about it. That student responded back with words to the effect of, sure if you are ready to die on Friday. The student then removed himself from the situation and reported to his teacher.
The situation then was investigated with each of the boys providing a statement. Police interviewed each of the boys. Parents came in. Consequences were issued.
Late Thursday night, September 25th, I received information that parents were expressing concern of school safety through Face Book. This morning the parents of the boy who made the threat reported to and remained in the school office as additional assurance that the school is safe with his son kept at home. The executive committee was present at the middle school. We met with several parents who came in with concerns that they had gathered off of Face Book. Assurances were made of the efforts from the school, police, executive committee, and the boy's parents that the children of the school are safe.
This notice to you of the student incident is to offer out communication of this event. We wanted to make to each of you aware of the information and to share an understanding of what occurred. When acts of bullying, gossip, impulsive acts, and harassment occurs, kids and adults often begin to think about what could happen, what actually happened, what could be the truth, and how to act.
Communication through social media, like Face Book, has it usefulness; however when fragments of information are expanded and shared within various social circles, people can reach conclusions that are far from what actually occurred. As adults we can teach children the importance of communicating with respect for each other, not being a part of gossip, to choose your words carefully, and to better choices in the telling of stories of others. As adults we can also make the adjustments within ourselves and what we are sharing to others.
A challenge that schools work through is the timing of communication being sent home, as some situations can quickly escalate and other situations turn out to be words shared during times of anger and pain. Teens do act impulsively. Teens do say words without thinking. Teens also learn from their actions and work through situations that they have created. The middle school staff will be using the homeroom time to talk about situations of bullying, gossip, and harassment, to provide students with opportunities to share their stories and what they have learned, and to be coached about how to respond to those types of situations.
If you should have any other concerns, please contact the school.
The Executive Committee
The account given in the email is not what the students in the class perceived. I do find it interesting that it was determined that Adam only made the threats in response to Brad bullying him. So, let's think about this....Brad bullied Adam? Adam hit Brad in the head with a ball, and Adam made the threats. Brad then went to tell on Adam? Brad must not be a very good bully or he would have pounded Adam for hitting him with the ball, and told no one.....Never mind, We're supposed to think Brad=bully=evil/Adam=poor victim=only did what he had to, to defend himself.
The middle school had a student incident during gym class on Wednesday, September 24th, between four boys. One of the boys had thrown a ball at another during a basketball game. The situation escalated when one of the boys said words of, what is the cripple going to do about it. That student responded back with words to the effect of, sure if you are ready to die on Friday. The student then removed himself from the situation and reported to his teacher.
The situation then was investigated with each of the boys providing a statement. Police interviewed each of the boys. Parents came in. Consequences were issued.
Late Thursday night, September 25th, I received information that parents were expressing concern of school safety through Face Book. This morning the parents of the boy who made the threat reported to and remained in the school office as additional assurance that the school is safe with his son kept at home. The executive committee was present at the middle school. We met with several parents who came in with concerns that they had gathered off of Face Book. Assurances were made of the efforts from the school, police, executive committee, and the boy's parents that the children of the school are safe.
This notice to you of the student incident is to offer out communication of this event. We wanted to make to each of you aware of the information and to share an understanding of what occurred. When acts of bullying, gossip, impulsive acts, and harassment occurs, kids and adults often begin to think about what could happen, what actually happened, what could be the truth, and how to act.
Communication through social media, like Face Book, has it usefulness; however when fragments of information are expanded and shared within various social circles, people can reach conclusions that are far from what actually occurred. As adults we can teach children the importance of communicating with respect for each other, not being a part of gossip, to choose your words carefully, and to better choices in the telling of stories of others. As adults we can also make the adjustments within ourselves and what we are sharing to others.
A challenge that schools work through is the timing of communication being sent home, as some situations can quickly escalate and other situations turn out to be words shared during times of anger and pain. Teens do act impulsively. Teens do say words without thinking. Teens also learn from their actions and work through situations that they have created. The middle school staff will be using the homeroom time to talk about situations of bullying, gossip, and harassment, to provide students with opportunities to share their stories and what they have learned, and to be coached about how to respond to those types of situations.
If you should have any other concerns, please contact the school.
The Executive Committee
The account given in the email is not what the students in the class perceived. I do find it interesting that it was determined that Adam only made the threats in response to Brad bullying him. So, let's think about this....Brad bullied Adam? Adam hit Brad in the head with a ball, and Adam made the threats. Brad then went to tell on Adam? Brad must not be a very good bully or he would have pounded Adam for hitting him with the ball, and told no one.....Never mind, We're supposed to think Brad=bully=evil/Adam=poor victim=only did what he had to, to defend himself.
Now we are supposed to pretend it never happened. The facts do not add up, and until they do, 300 school children are in danger, in my opinion. My children don't feel any more safe today than they did Wednesday. To the students, it appears Adam received no punishment for his threats. Why would they report the next threat of violence, if it doesn't matter? When threats are not taken seriously, we become calloused to them, and may dismiss the very one we should have listened to. This is the safety and lives of our children. Do we just hope nothing will happen in our sleepy little town? If I let it go and anything did happen, I share in the responsibility. I refuse to do that.
As parents, we only want our children to be safe. I have learned enough about bullying from the School to know it when I see it. The Police and School are shaming parents for expressing our concerns over the safety of our children. We are being made to feel like bad role models for spreading "gossip," and our children are being told that their parents could have made "better choices" than to seek more information.
School Officials didn't know "the importance of communication," so, as parents, we only got "fragments of information...expanded and shared through various social circles" of 8th graders with a genuine fear of potential violence at school. We are being bullied by the School and Police Department. Parents have stopped talking about it, and some have deleted comments out of embarrassment. What we should be ashamed of, is not standing up for ourselves and our children! Yes, I am a role model for my kids and I will show them that you stand for what you believe in.
There is a very real possibility that the safety of 300 6th-8th grade students is contingent on this message getting out. Only through awareness, working together, and demanding answers, can we know that no harm will come to the children. Don't say you are willing to give your life for your children if you allow bullies to shame you into silence.
Update: Attended City of Omro Council Meeting on October 7, 2014
We were not on the agenda so only able to give a statement to be addressed in a future meeting. The statement as presented:
Mayor, Robert R. Breu requested to talk with us after the meeting. He took our contact information, said he was informed last week this was no longer a concern by the Police Chief. I stated that many are still concerned but are now afraid to voice it due to how this was handled. Robert R. Breu stated he, and the Chief will be in contact with us in the next couple of day. I will post updates as the become available.
There is a very real possibility that the safety of 300 6th-8th grade students is contingent on this message getting out. Only through awareness, working together, and demanding answers, can we know that no harm will come to the children. Don't say you are willing to give your life for your children if you allow bullies to shame you into silence.
Update: Attended City of Omro Council Meeting on October 7, 2014
We were not on the agenda so only able to give a statement to be addressed in a future meeting. The statement as presented:
Members of the Omro City Council:
The events of Sept 24th-26th, 2014 have left a lot of Omro citizens and parents of children attending Omro Middle School, shaking their heads and looking for answers.
On Wednesday, Sept 24th there was an incident at the school that has effectively been swept under the rug, involving death threats to some of the students, and potentially, yet another act of gun violence, this time at our local middle school. The school has tried to keep this quiet, failing to communicate with middle school parents about what might have been a credible threat to their children.
The school’s executive committee would have us believe that some of our children participated in a heinous act of bullying, that the child who was allegedly bullied is disadvantaged in some way, and that we were wrong to be concerned. They’ve taken great measures to impress on our kids, in the days that followed, their wrongdoing in the supposed bullying of a disabled child. Our kids have been taken to task repeatedly, while the student who made death threats received little more than a figurative slap on the wrist.
Let’s look at the facts:
- The student that made the threats assaulted another student, hitting him in the head with a ball. While the comments made by the assaulted student may or may not have been appropriate, he went and reported the incident, including the death threats made by his assailant.
- As parents, most learned of this incident on Thursday, through the fears of our children, of attending school on Friday. No communication was given through school channels; only the word of scared 8th graders.
- When parents started bringing this to one another’s attention on social media, local police paid one scared mom a late-night visit on Thursday to inquire as to the origin of this news, made her feel she was spreading mis-information, and asked her to stop. She was told the matter was settled already, having met no criteria for a credible threat.
- Friday morning, police guarded every entrance to the Middle School, and parents were given to understand that the student who made the threats wouldn’t be attending school that day.
- In subsequent days, children have been inundated with an anti-bully campaign, as a reactionary measure to their fears and their alleged conduct. One child (ours) was even essentially called a liar when she questioned the official story, having been witness to other threats this student had made previously.
- The Executive Committee finally sent out an email to the parents: a scathing criticism of their efforts to gather facts and protect the safety of their children through the only means available to them on such short notice, and a dressing-down of their concerns over the lack of action on the part of school officials.
In short, we were bullied. Bullied by the school, who, in their embarrassment, took exception to us being proactive, and bullied by the police, who forgot that their purpose is to protect our safety, and our rights, not trample on them by acting as the brute squad for other local officials.
We ask you, Omro City Council, what can be done about this? How can we mend this breach of accountability on the part of those with whom we’ve entrusted our safety, and the safety of our children? We ask you to look into how any child, in a school with a Zero Tolerance policy, can get away with death threats on our kids, and go largely unpunished, and we ask you to look into what was, at the very least, an ethics violation on the part of our local police department, and at worst, bullying by school and law enforcement officials. We await your answers.
Thank you.
Mayor, Robert R. Breu requested to talk with us after the meeting. He took our contact information, said he was informed last week this was no longer a concern by the Police Chief. I stated that many are still concerned but are now afraid to voice it due to how this was handled. Robert R. Breu stated he, and the Chief will be in contact with us in the next couple of day. I will post updates as the become available.
