Shattering the Hands of Time

  

                           The spiritual path of Nyoka the Jungle Girl

It has been said that Nyoka was a difficult child. The same has been said about many children through the ages. She differed from the other children and she knew it.

About the time we enter 5^th grade, we stand knocking on the door of who we will become. No longer a “little” kid and not yet a defiant teenager with our finger poised over the bullshit button. Our teacher for the next few years will be life experiences more than anything else.

By the time Nyoka entered 5^th grade she had experienced more than most Americans will experience during their entire life. She was born to an “older” mother, fulfilling her longing of a daughter since the other children were boys, 13 and 16 years old when she was born.

Her early years were spent moving from one low class neighborhood to another in Dallas, Texas and she knew little of adult supervision. At 3 years of age, she would walk across the parking lot of Holiday Lodge, the hotel converted into apartments, to spend the day in the pool completely unattended. Looking back she realizes that the other children didn’t do this. Not even the children of the mother that went bat-shit crazy one day; chasing everyone at the complex with a butcher knife while trying to beat down the doors. That incident ended when the police arrived but not before Nyoka’s nose was pouring blood from being broken in the chaos.  

Before her mother moved her to Florida, she had witnessed the deepest darkness of the human soul. Shots fired at her during a robbery, a pistol cocked at her head during another was her “normal” life. The only thing that really changed in the move was the location and crime rate. She still did exactly what she wanted.

It’s not that she just didn’t “follow the rules”; she had no rules placed on her.  In Florida she ran the roads on dirt bikes and went to school if she felt like it. She had her bullshit button for a while by the time she entered 5^th grade.

All of this back story is to bring us to one small moment in Nyoka’s life that has haunted her since it occurred.

Nyoka’s Story:

I’m not even sure how I did it. Did I throw a ball or something in the house? Was I swinging the broom like a sword again? I wasn’t playing with anyone, no one else was there. However it happened.  I do know that I did it.

I’m not sure where it came from. A yard sale maybe? Did someone give it to my mother? Did she find it in a thrift store? It just appeared one day; hanging above the doorway in the room that used to be the back porch. It was only there a short time before the incident.

However it happened and wherever it came from no longer mattered at that point. I had broken the clock and all hell had broken loose! The clock was the old schoolhouse style and judging by the way my mother was reacting, it was the most cherished possession in the world. I had destroyed something that she “could never replace”. In the heat of it, my mouth shot off, “you can get another. They are all over the place!” When she asked, “Where?” and I responded “at the school”, her anger only increased.

How long did this go on? I don’t remember. I don’t remember leaving the room that day. I wasn’t handed down a punishment for my deed like some 5^th graders would have received. My punishment was in the form of manipulation, guilt and shame of destroying something my mother, in her words, “could never replace”. My deed was equal to taking one of her children from her.

We have never talked about the clock again. It hung over the door in its broken state until the house fire as far as I know. This clock has come to my mind often through the years. I don’t fully understand why this memory has haunted me. I have a collection of traumatic memories but this one has always seemed to be festering right under the skin and it “could never be replaced”.

Although I had no contact with my mother, the clock still haunted me. The spirit of the clock would stop in long enough to make sure I hadn’t forgotten and then would be gone again until the next visit. I was visited on December 22^nd and thought nothing unusual of it. It wasn’t something I put energy into when I thought of it. The memory would be there one minute and gone the next.

On Christmas Eve, I knew the stores would be full of stressed shoppers and closing early but I had agreed to take my girls to find a straight razor as a gift for their father. I do love that old stuff and can spend hours connecting to the people of our past through everyday items. The antique store would be closing in 20 minutes and we were having trouble finding a razor. Starting to feel the pressure, I had to focus on our mission. Navigating the maze-like layout, I took a right turn with my girls close behind.

Did my brain have time to understand what I was looking at before the tears started flowing? It didn’t seem like it as I stood in the middle of the antique store, face to face with a clock and sobbing in front of my children. This was the clock that “could never be replaced”.

Spirit performed a spontaneous Soul Retrieval on me when I was least expecting it. The part of me that remained locked in that moment was instantly released. Not only released but returned to me in a single beautiful instant. I don’t know if my mother remembers the clock incident or not and the truth of it is I don’t really care either way. If my mother does remember the clock incident, I’m sure she will swear this clock looks nothing like the original. All I can say is perception is personal and some refuse to leave the place of being offended for fear of the unknown. Spirit is requiring me to send the clock to her and seal the circle for myself. I will no longer remain in that time. I am not resonating at that frequency that I held on to for so long. Time is an illusion that we can choose to break. There is no past or future; there is only this moment that we exist in. The circle is completion, but sadly some will never close the circle. We can take and use of the world in any way that we choose but we have no right to be offended when the world takes and uses of us.

                                                            ~Nyoka the Jungle Girl

Nyoka has no desire to make amends on the human level. She is not “reaching out” with the clock. She is only preforming the alchemy that Spirit requires of her. She has no judgments of the past. These experiences were all required of her by Spirit or she wouldn’t have lived through many of them. By not forgiving, we are held hostage-not the one we can’t forgive.

Our great universe is balance. To be able to perceive the higher frequencies, we must also perceive the lower realm without judgment. Great things can be manifested through the lower energies. It’s alchemy, boys, and girls, and she wouldn’t change a thing in her life. Shamanism is to heal oneself. That is a lifelong task and you never know when or where Spirit will decide you have some clearing to do.

Nyoka has figured out that it’s easier to obey than to try to run from the demands of Spirit. Shamanism is not a religion; it is a way of life. Anyone can benefit from practicing shamanism. However, some are required by Spirit to practice. The shaman is a healer that has faced their own darkness within, and accepted the energies without personal judgments.

Without clearing and soul retrievals, we are unable to achieve higher states of awareness. We stay “stuck” resonating at the lower frequency. Most shamanic soul retrievals occur while in a journey trance. Entering non-ordinary reality allows us to seek out the parts of soul that we have disconnected from; or we may seek parts on behalf of someone else. As we clear and achieve higher levels of spiritual awareness, missing soul parts may come to us without us actively seeking them.

Reunited with the missing parts, we are able to release the locks on the prison that held that part of us. The emotions that seemed impossible to let go, now seem almost ridiculous to us when we think about them. The soul retrieval is nothing short of magical and I do believe in magic! 

WHAT IS SOUL RETRIEVAL AND SOUL LOSS?

Why do we need soul retrieval? When we suffer trauma, crushing disappointment or severe shock our soul, or a part of it, may leave our body in order to escape the experience. The result is what psychologists call dissociation and shamans call soul loss. It is a survival mechanism. If your soul can’t take any more of the pain it is experiencing it will go away in order to allow the physical body to survive. The part of you that wants to die, or may die, leaves and does not come back because it does not want to experience that same trauma again. When we are missing a part of our soul we can not only lose energy but our memory, identity, unique skills and life purpose. This is why we would need a soul retrieval.